LITTLE STEPS BRING BIG CHANGE.
Start your healing today…two minutes at a time.
Grief is a long journey but you can heal two minutes at a time. Our weekly videos provide you with simple, doable activities that will help you heal your grieving heart at your own pace. From energy healing to eastern and western religion, these videos pull knowledge from a multitude of sources to provide you with unique healing tools to help you along your grief path.
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Five Ways Our Angels Communicate with Us
Have you ever wished you could just have five minutes to talk to your loved one who has passed away to get their input on a conflict or problem? I know I would give anything for those five minutes. I miss their direction, advice and wisdom.
But since we can’t really get those five minutes, we must devise another way to talk to our loved ones.
Have you ever taken a moment and asked for them to communicate with you?
Have you ever asked for a sign to help give you direction in your day? Have you talked to them and asked for them to show you the way?
Our angels are here giving us signs every single day.
They want to show us love and support. They also want to help guide us along our way. They know how hard it is here for us. We just live at a pace too fast to recognize these majestic signs of love imparted upon us. I am constantly seeing angel signs and I have to say, it makes me feel so supported, so guided and so incredibly loved. This week, we’re going to cover five ways our Angels communicate with us:
1) Coins- They leave pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, even dollars, sometimes. Be sure to pay attention to your thoughts or actions at the time of discovery. The amount that you find is in direct correlation to the significance of the message. All of them are beautiful signs of love but noting the amount helps to add more meaning to the discovery and stronger direction for our lives. The greater the monetary amount, the stronger the message.
2) Feathers- As you begin to watch for these beautiful signs, you will begin to find beautiful feathers everywhere. Take a picture or begin a collection of them to keep in your home. Either way, know it’s your angel saying hello.
3) Music- Do you ever turn on the radio and your special song is playing of your loved one or the words in the song are the exact words you needed to hear? That is the magic and beauty of the angelic kingdom. They use this beautiful music to say the words they aren’t able to utter to you now.
4) Butterflies and Hummingbirds- When you are surrounded by these beautiful creatures, know your angels are close by saying hello and sending you so much love.
5) Numbers- This is one of my most favorite angel signs. Do you ever find that you start seeing the same number over and over again? 111, 555, 1234? These are all angel signs and they are giving you a specific message about your life. There are many sites that help interpret these numbers. Dorren Virtue has a great book and app called Angel Numbers 101 or there is a great website called www.sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com that gives a great description of the numbers without any cost. I love this messaging so much that this is my second post on Angel Numbers. Here’s my first post on a few of the meanings of the numbers! I’m so grateful for the direction and communication I am able to receive from my loved ones using this beautiful number system.
But you need to ask them for it!
Sometimes, they’ll send us messages but as soon as we ask them for a sign, it alerts them to your willingness to see their signs. So, this week, ask your angels for a sign and begin to watch what happens.
Just yesterday, as I started to write this blog, I asked my angels to give me some signs so I could take pictures to include them in the post and I saw four within hours. So make your request and begin to watch out for them. Pay attention and when you see one, tell your angel “thank you” and then tell US about it! Take a picture and share it with us!
I’m going to start taking pictures of all of the ones I come across every day and am going to start posting them on Instagram so we can all share in their love.
Follow me HERE so you can be inspired throughout your day too!
I am so excited to hear all of your stories this week! Please share in the comments down below what you asked to see and what angel signs you have found so we can all feel their love.
Love and Blessings,
Erin
No More What Ifs- Healing Grief 2 Minutes at a Time #74
The “What If” game
It’s a life-destructive game, at its best. At its worst, it breaks apart our confidence, our trust and, worst of all, our faith in knowing we are ALWAYS exactly where we are meant to be.
But it is just one of these sneaky little things that creep into our grieving process. It doesn’t matter if we are grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a recent onset of illness, or a life before having to care for aging parents, it finds its way into our thoughts. In our desperate frustration with our current life being such a grave distance from where we think it “ought” to be, we find ourselves asking:
What if…
What if I took him to the doctor sooner?
What if I let her in? What if I told the truth?
What if I had been a better listener?
“What if” causes us to judge ourselves and condemn ourselves for our past actions, as if that could change our current situation.
This game can go on and on but we have to find a way to be stronger than the game.
It will destroy us and turn our current situation into sheer misery. But how can we be stronger than the game? What can we do? We close our eyes, find our center and let go by remembering these two truths:
- We are always exactly where we are meant be
- It’s impossible to miss the train we’re meant to be on
A few weeks ago, I offered up that beautiful phrase on not being able to miss our train.
This past week, I was playing a nasty game of “What if” on myself and I started scrolling through my own site to bring me back to center. I started scrolling through my own images to find my center, inspiration and strength and I came across that very train image and it hit me…well, like a train.
“It’s impossible to miss the train you’re meant to be on.”
I was in a different place so my own words fell on me differently and I flipped the coin over on this phrase. I heard so loudly in my head…”YOU CANNOT MISS THIS TRAIN. YOU’RE MEANT TO BE HERE.” We’re all brought into this beautiful life of ours to learn certain lessons and to grow in ways we might not always understand.
But we cannot grow by sitting still.
We must be pushed. We must be torn down to be rebuilt again in ways we never knew or wanted to be possible. We must be on the train. Through all these heartbreaks though, we find ourselves closer to our true self, and ultimately closer to God.
Thank goodness we are always standing in the exact place where we are meant to be.
So, the next time you finding yourself spiraling out of control in your “what if” game, remember you are exactly where you are meant to be. You are meant to be on this train and it’s going to take you to a new place you never knew existed.
Find peace in knowing that no matter what you might have done differently in the past, you would not be able to miss this train. You would need to board it at some point so your heart could do the traveling, expanding and growing it needs to do while you’re here on this adventure of a lifetime.
Which “What ifs” are you letting go of this week? How you are being stronger than your game of “What if”? We can’t wait to grow stronger with you this week. Please share and grow with us together.
Love and Blessings,
Erin
Grief: Proof we are all protected and can finally let go
It was just one of those days.
I spent half the night awake wrestling with the myriad of emotions in my heart and head, trying to find peace with this new found Lyme diagnosis with my daughter. Mentally trying to organize the ridiculous amounts of information that has been dumped on top of my brain. Trying to organize. Trying to understand. Trying to find peace…and failing miserably.
The daytime hours went about the same. I’d spent the entire day doing practically everything twice. Two separate trips to the doctors office, two trips to the pharmacy and two trips to Trader Joes, even, because my mind was not present, and not with me, so I bought the wrong milk. By 5pm, I’d had it with my day, but it was time for my daughter’s horse lessons. Her passion. It is truly what makes her soul sing!
So as I stood at the side of the corral, alone and quiet for the first time in 24 hours, I began to cry and cry and cry. I’d recognized several days earlier that I was grieving this life change and shook my head at God with a bit of laughter as I said, “Right, I get it. I have to walk this walk too if I’m going to teach it.” Because as we covered last week in the Top Ten Ways Grief Shows Up In Our Life, grief shows up in all sorts of ways in our life. Any life change causes grief. I get it. I know it. I teach it, even. Although, the only thing that all of this knowledge does for me is make me acutely aware of what is actually happening. I think it’s a blessing, but it still doesn’t take the hurt away. I just know what to do with it and I know how important it is to let yourself FEEL it. So, I continued to cry and sort through my feelings. But what was I feeling?
I realized I was petrified- petrified of the process, pertrified of the outcome, petrified of hiking ever again (one of my true loves!). So I looked up and offered it up to God and said, “I don’t want this. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” It was my own purging mantra and I kept saying it until I didn’t feel it anymore. In this picturesque place, I was ridding my heart of the fear that no longer served me, nor anyone around me. I was so taken by the beauty of this moment, I started taking pictures and look what happened:
Yep, that’s my daughter inside the ring on her horse inside that beautiful, protective bubble. And I’m sure there’s some technical refraction/reflection explanation for my bubble in this picture. But to me, it was all about the messaging. I took this as a sign, as I do most things. Her bubble showed me she was safe. And that I was safe to let go, to finally trust, and to know it’s all being worked out by someone way more qualified than me to guide my life.
In fact, it was a message that all of us are safe. We all have that bubble. We are all being protected by something greater than all of us. We all have it. We just need to trust it, let go and exhale. And as the bonus, which I am constantly reminding you, that exhale continues to remove grief from our system. So, keep exhaling. Keep letting go. Keep trusting, a little bit at a time.
This week, I invite you to offer up your fears, your frustrations, your angers and release them to something greater than you and know, whether you see it or not, you have your very own protective bubble keeping you safe. Use your own purging mantra. Grief creates fear along with so many other emotions. So try and offer it up. Allow yourself to feel safe. Let yourself feel protected. Let go, even just for a moment.
What did you offer up this week? What was your purging mantra? What are you struggling with to release? Please share with us so we can help support you this week.
Love and Blessings,
Erin
GRIEF: Healing our isolation with our own power and vulnerability
Isolation.
It’s something that happens to all of us. It doesn’t matter whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a friendship, life before an illness or caring for ailing parents. When we are in pain, we pull away. We find reason to not trust others. Maybe we push them away because we’re too exhausted from our grief to invest in a relationship with anyone else. Maybe it’s because we’re afraid they might leave us too. Maybe we’re afraid our heart will never feel the way it felt before we entered our season of grief. The truth is, all of those things are true. We do feel exhausted, we do feel afraid and our heart will never be the same.
But at what cost are we isolating ourselves?
What do we miss out on in our lives because we think it feels more powerful or more controlling to keep others at a distance?
And let’s face it. It does feel powerful to push people away. We are in control of how close people get to our hearts. We get to build the height of the wall around us. We are in control, especially after a time that has felt completely out-of-control, whatever it was that caused this painful grief in our lives. We didn’t get to control it. We never asked for it to happen. We never gave permission for this particular event to happen in our lives. So now, we want to be in control. However, we work so hard controlling our situation and keeping people away that we find ourselves alone, detached and isolated. So we have to sit and think, is it all worth it?
My amazing therapist, Sandy Lillie, had me do this exercise this week and it was so helpful in determining how far away I was keeping my loved ones. So, I wanted to share it with you.
Sit and imagine the feeling of isolation that you feel right now. Feel it in your body. Where is it? Is it in your belly, below your chest, in your heart? Does it feel heavy, or cold? Sit with it for a minute. Take it all in.
Then, begin to push it outwards. Feel the emotion and the energy of that emotion extend outwards and feel yourself pushing everyone farther and farther away from you. Then, sit with how THAT feels? How does it feel? I found that I felt sad, detached, and even more alone. How does it feel for you? Heavier? Colder? Weaker? Or more powerful?
Then bring your energy and emotion close to you again. Allow other people’s energy close to you again. How does it feel? Does it feel warmer in your body? Do you feel a little happier? More connected?
Then one final time, push it outwards so that you begin to get a gauge on the process. Begin to feel the control you have over this feeling. Finish with placing that protective wall at the depth that feels the best for you. Feel the power and control that YOU have over how close you allow people to get to you.
Perhaps when you want to try being vulnerable but feel a little nervous still, keep that wall a little farther so you can’t get as hurt, but allow your vulnerability to be the bridge between you and the people you are keeping at a distance. Begin to allow them in through your honesty, vulnerability and heart.
Because there is such a grave cost to keeping people at a distance. We think it feels powerful but it just creates a situation that causes us more loneliness and more hurt. Allow yourself to be surrounded by people and love as you heal your grief. Let your loved ones in and begin to see how much your heart grows in ways and past boundaries you never knew possible. Allow that trust to grow as you begin to build new bridges.
If you are having a tough time even beginning to trust, you can check out one of my very early videos called “The Trust Rock.” (I apologize in advance for the video but the content is great! I was just starting out! ) Get yourself a trust rock and see if it helps. It did wonders for me and my heart and I hope this rock and this exercise does wonders for you too.
We can’t wait to support you this week as you try out this exercise and let people get a little closer to you while you are healing. Who did you let in this week? Please share!
Sending much love to you!
Love and Blessings,
Erin
10 Ways Grief Shows Up in our Life: Healing Grief 2 Minutes at a Time #71
How does grief show up in your life? Have you ever really thought about it? Do you think that some of those ongoing emotions and struggles you’ve been facing are actually uncovered grief? Grief shows up in our life way more than we realize.
When we begin to recognize that grief is not limited to death and that every life change causes us grief, we can begin to heal our hearts more efficiently and effectively. By recognizing it’s grief that we’re feeling, we give ourselves more space to heal, more comfort and a whole lot more compassion. We begin to nurture ourselves differently. We start to be more patient with our tender heart and we begin to slow down and allow our hearts to find their way home.
Grief stops us in our tracks so we can heal and figure out which way to go from here.
The problem is that most people don’t even realize they are grieving. But if we STOP and listen, we will often find we are grieving over a part, if not all, of the problem that is in our way.
Let grief stop you in your tracks. It will give you time to heal before you have to catch the next train.
Let’s empower ourselves by beginning to recognize the grief in our lives. Once we know what our grief looks like, we can heal precisely what is hurting us.
Here is my list of Ten Ways grief shows up in our life:
TEN WAYS GRIEF SHOWS UP IN OUR LIVES
1) The loss of a loved one- The most obvious cause of grief. It can be paralyzing and full of so many steps to heal our hearts as we find ways to piece our life back together without our loved one here on Earth.
2) The end of a relationship- Ending a relationship causes grief. Most people think of it as a broken heart without realizing that they go through the stages of grief as they process the end of this relationship in their life. The relationship itself created a third entity that needs to be grieved and healed as you both go your separate ways.
3) Being struck with illness- We grieve the life we once had before we had to put so much attention on our health, before we had so many other tasks to complete, before had so much pain and fear. We grieve the life that felt more simple and healthy.
4) Caring for aging parents- We grieve the life we had before we had to be responsible for our parents. We grieve THEM caring for US. We grieve the life we had before we had to be responsible for their lives.
5) Losing a job- We grieve the loss of our co-workers, the sense of responsibility, the pride of putting good work out in the world, and of course, the income.
Now, the last five ways may come as more of a surprise, but when you look deeper, you may just find you have deep rooted grief here too. Grief is not only not limited to death, it is also not limited to “difficult” life events. Let’s take a look:
6) Changing jobs- We landed our dream job and we are elated, but in our second week on the job, we find ourselves feeling melancholy. How is this possible? It’s our dream job…AND it’s a major life change. We grieve the comfort of the familiar; we grieve the relationships with previous co-workers; we grieve the ease of having mastered a particular role. We grieve our old routine, even if we’ve found our dream job.
7) Children going to kindergarten, high school, college- We finally did it! Our children have entered the next level of their education, but the beginning of something is the ending of something else. We grieve the relationship we had with them, and everyone who was a part of that experience, as we close that chapter and move onto the next one.
8) Moving- We turn our houses into homes. When we move, we grieve the life we built there in that structure. Whether we miss neighbors, friends or the old kitchen nook, it is a process to heal our grief over this change that is central to of our lives. Even if we have moved somewhere “better”, we need to honor ourselves through the adjustment period of saying good bye to our old life and home.
9) Having children- Yes, we created life and we would never want to change it. We love that new child more than words, but we also grieve the life we once had that felt spontaneous, restful and far more worry free.
10) Getting married- We’re finally off the market. We’ve committed ourselves to the loves of our lives. But somehow, after the honeymoon, we find ourselves sad. How is this possible? THIS was supposed to be IT. But if any newlywed is honest with themselves, once the honeymoon is over, they might actually find themselves grieving. Grieving the life they had before they had to compromise on lifestyle, time or the side of the bed they sleep on.
There are so many more ways grief shows up in our lives but the purpose of this exercise is to begin to look for the grief hidden in your life. Not to depress you but to empower you. Once you can recognize that it is grief you are feeling, you can respond accordingly. You can give yourself the space, comfort and compassion you need to heal. You can go through the steps of grief with awareness and intention on healing this particular life change. And once you recognize it is grief you are feeling, you will find that your heart begins to heal more efficiently and effectively in this area.
But first, we have to brave enough to stop, reflect and recognize that it is grief that is hurting us in the first place.
Fear Or Courage- Which will you choose?
My daughter was just diagnosed with Lyme Disease today. After an hour long appointment with the Lyme specialist, my head dizzy with information, details and fear, I walked out to my car to find a parking ticket. I apparently did not turn my wheels in enough on the San Francisco hill to appease the patrolling officer. Seriously? It was almost comical, except that it wasn’t. It was my tipping point. I was a mess. My daughter was a mess. We were both crying and both feeling overwhelmed with what’s to come for us. The gravity of all we had heard in the previous hour hit us like a ton of bricks. My daughter was in the back asking me what was going to happen. I felt helpless because I couldn’t answer her honestly. I had no idea. I didn’t want to lie and I didn’t want to commit to any outcome I couldn’t provide. To top it off, I found myself feeling miserable because all I could tell her was “I don’t know.” What kind of mother was I to her in that moment? While I was being all I could be, which was honest, I still didn’t feel good enough. In that moment, I was the pure definition of downward spiral. Crying, overwhelmed and ticked off at the SFPD.
But, I think this same episode happens no matter what news you receive. Maybe not this diagnosis, maybe not this ticket, but there is a moment of overwhelm where the culmination of fear hits us when faced with a new challenge and you spiral downward like any good human with a heart would do…and it’s important to let yourself go there, at least for a few minutes.
Before starting my ticketed car, I let myself wallow. “How will there be enough of me to handle what she needs?” “How can I be spread out even more?” “How am I going to remember all of what needs to be done?” Always searching for the teachable moment even for myself, I mentally scanned my body and realized I felt like I had been punched in the gut. My third chakra was totally devoid of any strength or energy. As you might remember from our Grief through the Chakras series, our third chakra holds our fear, but it also holds our courage, too. I was clearly lacking all courage and being eaten up by fear.
How many times have you been eaten up by fear on your grief journey?
No matter what caused your grief, we have moments of doubting our strength and feeling unsure about how we’re going to make it through our next challenge. But the thing is, we always do. It might not be pretty. It certainly isn’t always perfect, but we get through it. We learn more about ourselves along the way and we always come out stronger and more resilient than before we were met with something we’d prefer to not have in our life.
Epiphany or no epiphany. Strength building or no strength building, sitting in my parked ticketed car, I still felt like I wanted to throw up. So I put my hand on my third chakra, (above my belly button and below my rib cage) and began asking myself, “Fear or Courage, Erin? What are you going to choose?”
And then I remembered gratitude blocks the part of the brain that feels fear. It can’t feel both at the same time so I decided to rattle off all the things I could find that I was grateful for surrounding this news. I thought it was really important not to rattle off general gratitude. That would not suffice. I needed to find gratitude for THIS…this precise situation in order to heal my fear. I actually found quite a few- from the timing of it all, to the support people we now have in our lives, to the knowledge we’ve acquired that is going to help us get through this more efficiently and effectively.
Bam! Gratitude for Lyme? How could that even happen?
Faith. That’s how it happened. During the middle of my gratitude download, I focused on my hand that was on my third chakra and focused on receiving beautiful love and energy from heaven. I reminded myself “I’m not alone” and I am being watched after by God. This, too, is part of my journey. After a quiet one-handed drive home, one hand on the wheel, one hand on my belly, I felt composed, supported and far less scared than I had just one hour before. That’s all it took…a little bit of gratitude, a little bit of prayer and a little bit of intention. What if we tried to do that every time we felt afraid on our journey?
What if we replaced our fear with faith on our journey? And even though we might not always like what’s in our way, what would happen if we trusted that we’ll be stronger and more resilient once we get through it? I think we would find that there’s a lot less to fear and a lot more to be grateful for in our lives…especially in our most vulnerable and down-spiraling moments.
How did you turn your fear into gratitude this week? What were you afraid of most? Did your third chakra intention help you feel more calm?
We can’t wait to hear your story and help support you!
Love and Blessings,
Erin
Grief: Closed for Repairs. Healing Your Grief 2 Minutes at a Time #69
There are certain times in our lives when we just need to close for repairs. We are simply not able to handle friendships, relationships or outside pressures. Perhaps we can manage this exterior work peripherally for awhile but sooner or later, it will just exhaust us and deplete us until we are forced to shut down for repairs in order to do the interior work necessary to heal our hearts.
The Art of the No-Guilt Apology
With Father’s Day behind us, many of us are reeling from the after effects of that day. Some are basking in the glow of a beautiful day, greatly enjoyed with their Dad, while others are feeling distant, sad or alone.
That Dad bond…it’s a tricky connection. It’s our first love. It’s our first standard of a man. It’s our rule maker and first provider. It could have been a great standard set or the example of what we never want in our life ever again. With all that on the table, the probability for that relationship to get muddy, complicated or damaged as we grow, is very high. The trick is to know that we can grow, that this single relationship will force us to grow, but that we don’t always have to grow apart from our Dads.
Many times, words have been spoken, actions, or no actions, have been taken, and we find ourselves in a dynamic with our Dad that just doesn’t feel the way we want it to feel. But what can we do about it? And why should we do anything about it?
When my Dad was passing away in the hospital, the ICU nurse came and told us each to go into his room, alone, and apologize for anything we needed to apologize for in the relationship and tell him we forgave him for anything he’s done. Only then were we to say, “I love you and it’s OK to go.” Forgiveness had to come first.
After giving those instructions, she added, “He’s dying. He’s moving on. This time is for you. Take this time to heal your own heart.” She knew what I didn’t. She knew how much I could heal my own heart through apology and forgiveness during this once in a lifetime opportunity.
And she was right. It was so cathartic, healing and bonding for both of us as I sat there and cried and apologized for anything I could think of to reconcile “in person.” I also forgave him for the hurt he caused me. I cleared the space between us just from my side. It was such a powerful moment. I will be forever grateful for that nurse’s wisdom and for the greatest gift she could’ve ever given me- understanding the power of apology and forgiveness. I’m certain her nametag read, “Angel.”
That’s the thing about an apology. It heals the giver’s heart first and it doesn’t need to be reciprocated to heal it. The healing love must pass through our heart before it is delivered. Forgiveness is so powerful and if we hold onto angry emotions, we end up hurting our own hearts. If you find yourself still not convinced or ready to apologize for whatever your contribution has been to your situation, (and let’s face it, if we’re honest with ourselves, we know that we’ve contributed in some way), here’s the clincher:
An apology doesn’t imply guilt. An apology simply shows you care about the part of their heart that has been hurt.
You don’t have to own anything. You don’t have to accept blame. You just need to connect to the piece of his heart that is hurt and indicate that it matters to you that it’s hurt. By connecting to this single place in both of your hearts, healing will occur like magic.
And if your Dad has passed away, you can still apologize. I have to say, my relationship with my Dad has improved soo much since he passed away 15 years ago. I continue to talk things out, apologize and heal the many arguments and challenges we created together because I want to heal me. I want to heal my own heart and I don’t want to carry those burdens around with me any longer. He wouldn’t want me to hold onto them either.
So during this healing week post Father’s Day, take a moment to scan your heart and his and begin to clear the path between the two of you. Begin the healing in your own heart through your forgiveness and apology. It can be in person or just in a letter to him that you never send. But begin… you will be amazed at the healing that comes your way through the power of forgiveness. And once the hurt is gone, all that is left is love.
Were you able to connect with your Dad this week? Either real time or just heart to heart? What did you forgive? Share with us so we can heal alongside you too.
Love and Blessings,
Erin
Loving Our Fathers- Blocks & All
It’s Father’s Day weekend. For some of us, we’ve been without a father for years. For others, this will be our first Father’s day without him. Either way, there is a place in our hearts that opens up for this one man on Sunday. Whether we had the storybook father or the nightmare dad, our hearts automatically open up to him on Father’s Day and it’s our job to let him in. If we close down our hearts, we close down a part of ourselves. We close down to our strength, our love, and our connection to our lineage. And it may hurt to remain open. Opening up that space and holding that space for the day may flood our hearts with memories of hurt, anger or disappointment, but in processing those feelings, we begin to heal. We begin to move on and grow into the person we are meant to be.
Wayne Dyer once wrote an incredible blog on committing to an Unconditional Love experiment where he encouraged all of us to love unconditionally for a few days to see how much our life changed. He described all of us as pieces of God (whatever God means to you). In this experiment, we aren’t loving the bad things people do, we are loving the God within them. When people do hurtful things to us, it is actually caused by a block that they have in their own heart that is preventing God from shining through their heart. It is our job to recognize that block and to look over the wall they have built up for themselves because they just can’t see it for themselves. So while we don’t want to love the hurtful things people do to us, we can love the God that is in everyone and bless their blocks, in hopes that our blessings will help break down their barriers. Once we recognize the God within them, our heart begins to heal. Here is the link to that amazing article.
So, if you find yourself this Father’s Day with an opened heart to a man that has hurt you or left you, either physically or emotionally, take a moment to honor and love the God that is within him. If you can’t begin with loving the God within him, then start with just blessing his blocks. Understand that they were always his blocks to God, not yours. The hurt, the comments, the anger was a result of his blocks and his not feeling good about who he was at the time. He was the one not OK with himself. It had nothing to do with you.
So this Father’s Day, give yourself the best gift you could give yourself and him:
Give him blessings for his blocks.
Allow your open heart to connect to his open heart that exists behind that wall of blocks and watch what happens to you. You will find your own heart feels full of love, compassion and gratitude. Fathers are the other half of our bodies’ equation. We were made by two people. We are alive because of him and for that reason alone, we need to be grateful. Take a moment this weekend and connect with your Dad, either physically or just mentally. If he has passed away, he will hear you. If he has moved out of your life, he will feel your thoughts. And if you are with him, hug him and forgive him. Be the brave one and watch what happens to you. Give the best gift you can give to yourself and him. Turn all of those blocks between you two into building blocks that connect you to God, yourselves and each other. Happy Father’s Day!
What blocks did you bless today? How are you healing your heart? We look forward to supporting you this weekend!
Love and Blessings,
Erin
Grief: Legs Up The Wall: Healing Your Grief 2 Minutes at a Time #66
There are times in our lives when things just feel upside down. As hard as we try, we can’t seem to flip it around. We find ourselves running ragged, having short fuses, keeping ourselves endlessly busy yet feeling utterly alone, sad and depressed. It doesn’t take grief to feel this way but anyone who is grieving would attest to the fact that this is what a regular day feels like when you are healing a grieving heart.
I am ragged, short-fused and feeling utterly upside down this week. In a span of 2 weeks every June, I must outpour, give of myself and celebrate both of my children’s birthdays and Father’s Day all at once. I must give, give, give and the depletion of energy always brings my grief up in full force. Isn’t it so interesting that celebrating the happy times brings up so much grief for us? It baffles me and frustrates me that these beautiful blessings in my life can bring up so much heartbreak, especially because no one has time for grief when they have parties to plan. 🙂
These past few days, I’ve missed my mom who would be here in stride with me cooking, planning, wrapping presents and reminiscing of the day these sweet little souls were born. To top it off, I’m finding more reminders and signs this week from my Dad than anytime before. I know they are both hanging around because they both loved a good party and loved my girls like nothing I’ve ever witnessed. I love that they’re giving me signs that they’re around although I have to be honest, it does just make me miss them more and more. It’s such a tease. It’s like they’re soo close, yet I don’t get them back the way I want them.
So where does that leave me this week besides tired, sad and missing them? What do we do when we find ourselves in this place but need to keep moving? How do we find some authenticity in the celebration we worked so hard to plan?
We flip ourselves upside down to match it.
This concept got me thinking today….what if I did turn upside down? Would I see things more clearly? It reminded me of one of my mom’s most favorite things in the world to do…legs up the wall, a yoga pose that allows you to enjoy the benefits of an inversion without the “work.” It’s a restorative, receiving pose. My mom was visiting once and my girlfriend, who was feeling a bit upside down with her love life, stopped by to visit. Within five minutes of meeting my mom, the three of us had our legs up the wall. We were all making sense of this life that had been flipped upside down while staring at our toes on the wall. It was hilarious and brought about some profound insight. It did exactly what the pose was supposed to do.
And I think that’s how we feel when we’re grieving, we feel like we’ve been flipped upside down, like life has pulled the rug out from under us. But by flipping ourselves upside down to match the madness, we’ll begin to find some serenity, some peace and a whole lotta energy…all of which is the opposite of how we feel before the pose. By flipping upside down, we send blood and energy to our brains, lungs and hearts so we can nourish these overworked and stressed organs. As I’ve mentioned many times before, grief energy resides in our lungs and this pose is a great way to help move that energy out and off our lungs.
So here’s a simple how-to for this amazing pose:
Lay on the right hand side of your body with your bottom touching the base of the wall and your legs curled up in a ball with the bottom of your feet touching the wall. (This is the same position you will come back to at the end.) Then, roll left onto your back, with knees tucked still, and then stretch those beautiful legs up the wall and allow your arms and hands to rest on your belly or your belly and heart. Place your hands where you feel like you need a little love and begin to feel it come through you. Stay there as long as it feels right for you. I find that 10 minutes rejuvenates me, settles my mind and gives me enough energy to get through the rest of my day, but the practice is typically 5-20 minutes. It’s really my secret weapon to keeping up with my schedule. When you are ready to get out of this position, it’s important that you leave it the same way you entered it. While still on your back, bend your knees into your chest, roll over on your right hand side and wait a few minutes. While you’re there, soak in that beautiful stillness and give gratitude for this practice, for the gift of replenishing your own body and mind, and for that last little bit of stillness before you get on with the rest of your day. If you want a lengthier description of the pose and alternative ways to get into it, check out this article from Yoga Journal.
There will be moments, days or weeks where life may feel upside down. It may feel out-of-control. It may feel overwhelming. We must be kind and gentle with ourselves and give ourselves the support we need to grow through these times. You may just find that when you feel like your life is upside down that being upside down may just be exactly what you need to heal.
We can’t wait to hear how your legs up the wall experience was for you. Did it help? How long did you stay there? We can’t wait to hear your story. Namaste.
Love and Blessings,
Erin