The “What If” game
It’s a life-destructive game, at its best. At its worst, it breaks apart our confidence, our trust and, worst of all, our faith in knowing we are ALWAYS exactly where we are meant to be.
But it is just one of these sneaky little things that creep into our grieving process. It doesn’t matter if we are grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a recent onset of illness, or a life before having to care for aging parents, it finds its way into our thoughts. In our desperate frustration with our current life being such a grave distance from where we think it “ought” to be, we find ourselves asking:
What if…
What if I took him to the doctor sooner?
What if I let her in? What if I told the truth?
What if I had been a better listener?
“What if” causes us to judge ourselves and condemn ourselves for our past actions, as if that could change our current situation.
This game can go on and on but we have to find a way to be stronger than the game.
It will destroy us and turn our current situation into sheer misery. But how can we be stronger than the game? What can we do? We close our eyes, find our center and let go by remembering these two truths:
- We are always exactly where we are meant be
- It’s impossible to miss the train we’re meant to be on
A few weeks ago, I offered up that beautiful phrase on not being able to miss our train.
This past week, I was playing a nasty game of “What if” on myself and I started scrolling through my own site to bring me back to center. I started scrolling through my own images to find my center, inspiration and strength and I came across that very train image and it hit me…well, like a train.
“It’s impossible to miss the train you’re meant to be on.”
I was in a different place so my own words fell on me differently and I flipped the coin over on this phrase. I heard so loudly in my head…”YOU CANNOT MISS THIS TRAIN. YOU’RE MEANT TO BE HERE.” We’re all brought into this beautiful life of ours to learn certain lessons and to grow in ways we might not always understand.
But we cannot grow by sitting still.
We must be pushed. We must be torn down to be rebuilt again in ways we never knew or wanted to be possible. We must be on the train. Through all these heartbreaks though, we find ourselves closer to our true self, and ultimately closer to God.
Thank goodness we are always standing in the exact place where we are meant to be.
So, the next time you finding yourself spiraling out of control in your “what if” game, remember you are exactly where you are meant to be. You are meant to be on this train and it’s going to take you to a new place you never knew existed.
Find peace in knowing that no matter what you might have done differently in the past, you would not be able to miss this train. You would need to board it at some point so your heart could do the traveling, expanding and growing it needs to do while you’re here on this adventure of a lifetime.
Which “What ifs” are you letting go of this week? How you are being stronger than your game of “What if”? We can’t wait to grow stronger with you this week. Please share and grow with us together.
Love and Blessings,
Erin