There are times in our lives when things just feel upside down. As hard as we try, we can’t seem to flip it around. We find ourselves running ragged, having short fuses, keeping ourselves endlessly busy yet feeling utterly alone, sad and depressed. It doesn’t take grief to feel this way but anyone who is grieving would attest to the fact that this is what a regular day feels like when you are healing a grieving heart.
I am ragged, short-fused and feeling utterly upside down this week. In a span of 2 weeks every June, I must outpour, give of myself and celebrate both of my children’s birthdays and Father’s Day all at once. I must give, give, give and the depletion of energy always brings my grief up in full force. Isn’t it so interesting that celebrating the happy times brings up so much grief for us? It baffles me and frustrates me that these beautiful blessings in my life can bring up so much heartbreak, especially because no one has time for grief when they have parties to plan. 🙂
These past few days, I’ve missed my mom who would be here in stride with me cooking, planning, wrapping presents and reminiscing of the day these sweet little souls were born. To top it off, I’m finding more reminders and signs this week from my Dad than anytime before. I know they are both hanging around because they both loved a good party and loved my girls like nothing I’ve ever witnessed. I love that they’re giving me signs that they’re around although I have to be honest, it does just make me miss them more and more. It’s such a tease. It’s like they’re soo close, yet I don’t get them back the way I want them.
So where does that leave me this week besides tired, sad and missing them? What do we do when we find ourselves in this place but need to keep moving? How do we find some authenticity in the celebration we worked so hard to plan?
We flip ourselves upside down to match it.
This concept got me thinking today….what if I did turn upside down? Would I see things more clearly? It reminded me of one of my mom’s most favorite things in the world to do…legs up the wall, a yoga pose that allows you to enjoy the benefits of an inversion without the “work.” It’s a restorative, receiving pose. My mom was visiting once and my girlfriend, who was feeling a bit upside down with her love life, stopped by to visit. Within five minutes of meeting my mom, the three of us had our legs up the wall. We were all making sense of this life that had been flipped upside down while staring at our toes on the wall. It was hilarious and brought about some profound insight. It did exactly what the pose was supposed to do.
And I think that’s how we feel when we’re grieving, we feel like we’ve been flipped upside down, like life has pulled the rug out from under us. But by flipping ourselves upside down to match the madness, we’ll begin to find some serenity, some peace and a whole lotta energy…all of which is the opposite of how we feel before the pose. By flipping upside down, we send blood and energy to our brains, lungs and hearts so we can nourish these overworked and stressed organs. As I’ve mentioned many times before, grief energy resides in our lungs and this pose is a great way to help move that energy out and off our lungs.
So here’s a simple how-to for this amazing pose:
Lay on the right hand side of your body with your bottom touching the base of the wall and your legs curled up in a ball with the bottom of your feet touching the wall. (This is the same position you will come back to at the end.) Then, roll left onto your back, with knees tucked still, and then stretch those beautiful legs up the wall and allow your arms and hands to rest on your belly or your belly and heart. Place your hands where you feel like you need a little love and begin to feel it come through you. Stay there as long as it feels right for you. I find that 10 minutes rejuvenates me, settles my mind and gives me enough energy to get through the rest of my day, but the practice is typically 5-20 minutes. It’s really my secret weapon to keeping up with my schedule. When you are ready to get out of this position, it’s important that you leave it the same way you entered it. While still on your back, bend your knees into your chest, roll over on your right hand side and wait a few minutes. While you’re there, soak in that beautiful stillness and give gratitude for this practice, for the gift of replenishing your own body and mind, and for that last little bit of stillness before you get on with the rest of your day. If you want a lengthier description of the pose and alternative ways to get into it, check out this article from Yoga Journal.
There will be moments, days or weeks where life may feel upside down. It may feel out-of-control. It may feel overwhelming. We must be kind and gentle with ourselves and give ourselves the support we need to grow through these times. You may just find that when you feel like your life is upside down that being upside down may just be exactly what you need to heal.
We can’t wait to hear how your legs up the wall experience was for you. Did it help? How long did you stay there? We can’t wait to hear your story. Namaste.
Love and Blessings,
Erin