Grief: Closed for Repairs. Healing Your Grief 2 Minutes at a Time #69

This closing time is critical for our hearts.  We NEED this time to nourish ourselves and heal ourselves so we can open up again one day. And when we do open back up, we will find ourselves renewed, refreshed and ready to engage in those relationships we had to put on hold. But if we do not take this time to heal, our pain will resurface in surprising and malicious ways that hurt us far more than dealing with our honest truth.

But how do we take this time and what can we do during this time to heal efficiently and effectively?

Sometimes, we just don’t get a choice in the matter.  We find ourselves too exhausted to support anyone else. THIS is the time to close for repairs. Do it then before you harm relationships and yourself by giving from an empty heart.

We can only give from overflow. Take the time you need to heal and fill your heart back up.  You’ll know when it’s time to give again.

But what do we do once we’ve decided to close down?

We look inward and write out a list of what feels broken, what needs to be repaired and what we’d like to be different.

This is not a pity party list.  It’s important not to feel guilty or bad about this list.  If we don’t take time to figure out where we are, we can never get to where we want to be.

 

On that list, write out what is really hurting you. What would you like to change? What do you wish was different? When you have your list complete, take a look at that list and love on that list.  I mean, really love on that list and begin to build your trust that these pieces will be put back together in the divine right time and in the divine right way.  Our job is to let go and trust the process.  So while reading that list, envision yourself handing each line item over to something far greater than you who is guiding you, protecting you and healing you. And sometimes, the process is to break apart first just to be put back together. But you must give yourself the powerful experience of remaining closed to yourself.  You deserve to spend that time with you. Healing yourself, getting to know yourself and loving yourself in a way you’ve never loved yourself before. If you want to begin to change those things on your list, you need energy first to heal them.

When I closed for repairs, I cried into my pillows. I didn’t just cry little cries, I cried big, messy, ugly, screaming cries to get out the anger, frustration, abandonment and hurt I felt over my life changing so quickly after losing so many people in such a short amount of time. When I was done screaming, I spent months and months, reading books and listening to speakers to fill my soul with healing, love and knowledge.  Now, I find myself using all of that knowledge in this community and in my healing work with clients and I am grateful, every single day, for my “closed for repairs” time of my life.  Because to be honest, I would have never spent that time to stop, sit, read and heal if I didn’t consciously choose to close down.  I would have kept running. I would have kept avoiding. It’s easier to avoid. But I also learned, avoiding won’t get you anywhere.

We must take action to heal.  But the good news is that every little step counts.

That’s why I started this weekly blog.  I want to make healing more attainable and less daunting. I want to inspire you to heal your heart little by little because it does make a difference.

But the healing process often begins with a total shutdown.  So honor your shutdown.  Trust and know you are exactly where you are supposed to be and that your pieces are being put back together in the perfect way and at the perfect time.  Step by step. You decide. Does your heart need to be open or closed for repairs right now? Trust that you know the answer to that question.  Only you know best.