Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for teaching me one of my most important life lessons- the importance of celebration. You celebrated EVERYTHING! There was always a reason to throw on Neil Diamond or your most recent 45 and have a spontaneous dance party in our living room. Upon winning my school election, I came home to a celebratory sign on our garage door. Every school success or failure was honored in some way- ranging from a choice of dinner to a silly home-made certificate telling me to get ‘em next time. I was traveling when I received my college acceptance letter, and you even wrote a poem just to tell me the news over the phone. At the Father Daughter dance at my sorority, you surprised me with our sorority letters in glitter on your cummerbund!!! I can’t thank you enough for all of your love and for showing me by example the importance of celebration.
As you can tell, it honestly did not matter how big or small the event, our family celebrated everything.
All of these celebrations were a blast, but more than it just being fun, these celebrations made me feel special and important. This positive reinforcement in our home allowed me to take more risks outside of our house because I knew I could home to a celebration, regardless of the outcome. There is no better way to handle life than through celebration.
It is no wonder then that I have found a way to turn the loss of my parents into an Angel Birthday celebration. It is the only way I can truly honor them. They loved a great party! I feel like it’s why I was supposed to have a childhood of crazy celebrations- it needed to be ingrained in me so I could find a way to bring the love and light of celebration into the darkness of grief.
My Dad was amazing and I want to celebrate him and all of the fathers out there today. None of this would be possible without you. I toast you and hope all of you enjoy your special day. Keep your party shoes on and remember that life is always worth celebrating! Happy Father’s Day!
The ripple effect of grief
How does grief affect us? I mean, really affect us? Have you sat and thought about how much change grief creates and how we can all be touched, and perhaps even blessed, by it? What does grief ultimately do for us? It helps us appreciate the precious moments we are given, instead of wasting them away. It helps us cherish the people in our lives that we love, not take them for granted. It helps us not to worry so much about the little details that don’t really matter anyway, it helps us let go. To let go of the grudges, the...
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This morning on Facebook, I was greeted by a multitude of very sad posts. Many deaths, attempted deaths, losses and from a wide variety of people in my life- old friends, new friends, work associates. I typically try to at least comment on a post no matter who it is or how much time I have because I think so many people are too scared to address pain. I figure that if I can at least start or contribute to the support, I’ve done my part. But the sheer volume of posts really triggered me this morning. I tossed my phone on the...
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So often when we’re grieving, we never feel heard. I mean really feel heard. We don’t feel understood. We don’t feel like anyone could possibly understand how much we hurt or how lost we feel. This leaves us feeling very isolated and very, very alone. What if we could do something that would make us feel connected and understood? What if it only took 2 minutes? Sounds pretty good, right? Well this week, we are going to do a partner healing and really heal that part in our heart that is aching to...
read moreCould there actually be something called “grief brain”?
Do you keep misplacing things? Or forget what you’re saying? Do you often feel nervous or anxious? It could be that you have grief brain. Our bodies become so overtaken by emotion and grief that it is hard to maintain our schedules or remember simple things. This happens in our bodies because our adrenals feel the stress of our emotions. Unfortunately, our adrenals can’t translate the type of stress we are encountering and can’t differentiate between a tiger running you down as you fear for your life or feeling...
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This week, my grief expert experience broadened to include chick grief. Yes, you read that correctly…chick grief. I didn’t realize I needed to add this to my repertoire but, like all things grief, it turned out to have very little to do with the actual chicks. This fall, my children joined 4-H. They are true animal lovers and, as a result of our chosen project, are raising baby chicks for a few months. What I did not anticipate was this project becoming a lesson in so much more than farm maintenance and responsibility for a...
read moreHealing the bridges between us
I hosted a meditation this week to help heal the challenging relationships we might have in our lives. It got me thinking. For some of us here, we may be struggling with having lost our loved one to death when our relationship with them wasn’t healed. Maybe we were in an argument. Maybe we hadn’t spoken to them in years. Maybe we wish we could have a redo of the very last conversation we had with them. Anyone? I know I have one of those! We can still very much grieve a person and be mad at them at the same time. But it can feel a...
read moreCan we laugh and grieve at the same time?
Can we laugh and grieve at the same time? That’s a tricky question, isn’t it? Grief has us wrapped up in so many emotions, we almost feel guilty laughing and allowing our souls any sort of relief. Grief can sometimes even cause laughter because it’s our bodies way of releasing stress and emotion. My brother and I laughed our way through one of our planning meetings for our other brother’s funeral. At that point, it was our third funeral to plan together in a short period of time and, I think it was the only way...
read more2 minute healing challenge: Absorbing God’s healing love
I gave the most heartfelt talk this week for a women’s church group on all the ways grief shows up in our life and on how God uses that very grief to bring us closer to him to prepare us and ready us for our larger divine purpose here. It was so amazing. And while grief shows up in so many different ways in our life, the same thing remains true. We must take the time we need to honor and heal our hearts and find a way to actually let the love in. That healing time can look so different for people. For some, it may be attending...
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Fear or Love? Which will you choose? So often on our grief journey, we encounter people who are too afraid to approach our pain. Their schedules suddenly get too full to have lunch with us. They stop calling. They stop helping, and it is so hard to handle. We are the mirror and reflection for them of something that can happen to them in an instant in their life, and it petrifies them. But where does that leave us? Do we get bitter and mad that these people in our lives are choosing fear over love? Or will we take a moment to recognize...
read moreThe 2 minute healing challenge
So often when we are grieving, we are triggered by the simplest thing, at the simplest time. The smell of coffee, flowers in a store, a television commercial. When these moments hit us, we find ourselves grieving hard. It doesn’t matter if your loved one passed away 6 months ago or 20 years ago. In that moment, it hurts and it hurts bad. It’s bound to happen to every single one of us, if it hasn’t happened already. But what should we do when this happens? It can be so intense that we may feel inclined to wipe away...
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