Healing 2 minutes at a time

Fear or love- which will you choose?

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Fear or Love? Which will you choose?

So often on our grief journey, we encounter people who are too afraid to approach our pain. Their schedules suddenly get too full to have lunch with us. They stop calling. They stop helping, and it is so hard to handle.  We are the mirror and reflection for them of something that can happen to them in an instant in their life, and it petrifies them.

But where does that leave us? Do we get bitter and mad that these people in our lives are choosing fear over love? Or will we take a moment to recognize that it’s actually not personal?

Isn’t that a crazy thought? Our grief, which is so personal to us that we feel it in our bones and in our gut, isn’t personal to them at all. It’s their fear that is keeping them away from you. It’s about them and their fears. It’s not about you.

They’re scared to see what real grief might look like. They’re afraid to say the wrong thing to you. They’re afraid they might make you cry even more.

The problem is that no one should live in fear. “A Course in Miracles” teaches us that there are only two true emotions- love or fear.

Which will you choose as the recipient? Which will you choose as the giver?

Whatever role you play,

Let love show up everywhere.

You might say the wrong thing. Say it anyway. Don’t let fear win.

People feel our loving intentions more than they hear the actual words we say.



So use this as an experiment this week.

After all, today is National Hug Day. 

Use this holiday as an excuse to visit your grieving friend just to deliver your hug. Use it as the “excuse” to show up. Truth be told though, you don’t really need an excuse. Your love and intention of support is an amazing gift all unto itself.

If you are the one grieving, use this as a dose of courage to help you reach out to those you miss the most. Be reassured, it’s not personal. Their distance is not about you. Reach out. Allow yourself to connect to someone that has fallen out of your life that you truly miss. Let love do its thing in your heart too.

Bitterness and resentment can make us feel even more isolated, sad and depressed. Allow your love to heal your own heart just by reaching out and connecting.  Whether you are the one grieving or the loved one of someone who is grieving, choose love today, not fear.

We can’t wait to hear all the ways you chose love this week or the ways someone showed you love. Share this article with your loved ones so they can begin to choose love too. You never know who might be feeling isolated or alone because those around them haven’t conquered their fears yet. Help give them a dose of courage too.

Sending you big love!

Love and Blessings,




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