Healing 2 minutes at a time

Healing through the holidays- Christmas tree sharing circle

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For some, a week away from Christmas means anticipation building, excitement growing and merriment and joy abound.  But when you are grieving and you’re a week away from Christmas, that is when the emotions really kick into high gear.  We begin to become nervous and anxious over how we’re going to handle that day.  We begin to miss our loved one even more and we find ourselves wishing we could just “skip this year.” It is so incredibly hard.  It is the seasonal storm before the calm as we discussed a few months ago, that everyone grieving experiences together.  But what if there was a way to still grieve AND celebrate the holiday together?  This week, we’re going to learn how to do just that.

We’re going to build a Christmas tree sharing circle.

Now, I’m a “Call the elephant out in the room” kinda girl.  I’m sure that is no surprise given this site, but we’re going to do this in a major way this week.  But I only know it works because I’ve done it myself.  My family’s first Christmas without my Dad was only 5 months after his passing.  We wanted to celebrate Christmas, of course, but no one really felt like celebrating. We really couldn’t quite figure out how we were going to sit around the Christmas tree and enjoy unwrapping gifts without our master of ceremony there to lead us through the morning.  The truth is, we didn’t really want to celebrate.  So as a prelude to my work now, I think, I brought a jar out with several different questions written on pieces of paper.  As we went around the room opening presents, we each answered the question about my Dad.  It was beautiful.  It was authentic.  It was real.  We weren’t pretending that we didn’t miss him.  We weren’t acting like we didn’t notice he wasn’t there.  We incorporated our very best memories of him and this day into a wonderful ceremony that helped us make it through this transitional year.  So I want to give you a list of those very questions.  Use them, read them, ask them, make some up of your own and tell us about them. Here they are:

-What was your favorite Christmas memory of your loved one?

-What was your favorite gift your loved one ever gave you?

– What’s the funniest thing your loved one ever said to you?

– What’s the one thing your loved one always said that you will always remember?

-What’s your favorite facial characteristic of your loved one?

-What did you love to do with your loved one the most?

-What do you always want to remember about your loved one?

 

This was an amazing and very healing experience for me and my family.  We were able to be truthful about our feelings of missing my Dad AND celebrate Christmas.  We could bring his memory to life in the very backdrop of so many great stories about him.
christmas

 

I hope these questions are helpful for you in getting through next week’s celebration.  Please share more questions if you come up with them.  I am sending you so much love this holiday season.  Continue to heal through your holidays and know we are all here to support you.

 

Sending you big love!

 

Love and Blessings,

Erin

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