Have you ever wondered how your thoughts can heal your heart?

As we’ve dedicated this entire month to the mother relationship, it got me thinking.  What did our moms provide us that helped us the most?  Sure, they cooked, cleaned, drove us around, fought our battles or let us fight our own, but what was is it, really, that they had the greatest influence over in our lives?  It really came down to two things:

Food and thoughts.

Last week, we covered how we could begin to mother ourselves with nourishing loving food, so this week we are going to learn how to mother our thoughts.  Our powerful all-consuming, life-altering thoughts.  Not only are we what we eat, we are what we think.  But where do those thoughts come from and how to do we begin to alter them to keep them positive, especially while grieving?

While our thoughts are ours alone, they have often been influenced by our greatest influencer-the person who helped shape our esteem, our personality and our hearts, our moms.  Some of us may have been lucky enough to have a mom who told us how amazing we were and how we could accomplish anything.  But there are those of us whose moms never uttered a word of encouragement or praise.  Why do think it happened that way?  I don’t really believe it’s because that is how they actually felt about you.

I think it had everything to do with how they felt about themselves.   The lack or abundance of mothering support was a direct result of what was going on in their own hearts.   It may have been because our moms, themselves,  didn’t feel good about themselves.  Perhaps they didn’t believe in their own words.  It’s quite possible that they didn’t provide encouragement because they didn’t feel that their voice even mattered. It was their own self-esteem that kept them from boosting up yours.  Do you think that could have applied to your situation growing up?

The important point of this week’s message is to begin to recognize that it was your mom’s challenge, her hurts, her heart that held back from providing you with the love and encouragement you so desperately longed for as a child.  But now that our mothers are no longer here because they have passed away or have passed along out of our lives, the big questions is: what are we going to do for ourselves?  How can we begin to give our hearts the love, the encouragement, and the mothering they need to begin to heal? As we begin to heal, we start to feel stronger. We gain a peaceful knowing that we belong and that we are loved. How do we get there ourselves?

We are going to use a magic mirror.

Yes, a magic mirror.  Or at least, your own mirror may feel magic for a little while when this technique begins to take effect.  Take a moment and stare into your own eyes in the mirror.  Look deeply.  While looking into your beautiful eyes, connect and see the beauty that lies there.  It may feel a little awkward at first but as you continue doing this, you will begin to connect with yourself.  Our eyes are the gateways to our souls.  See the infinite possibility there.  Write down what you see.  Look into your own eyes with the love of a mother, even better yet, the love for yourself.  Tell yourself you love yourself.  Tell yourself you are worthy and that you are very, very important.  Then, see how that feels and write it down.

Only our own hearts know the truth within our souls.

When I first started doing this, I first, looked behind my shoulder to make sure no one was watching, 🙂 and then I could only look for a few seconds at a time.  And that felt so sad and so lonely to me.  I couldn’t be with myself.  I couldn’t get intimate with myself. And if I couldn’t get intimate with myself, who was I ever going to get intimate with in my life?  So I’ve added it to my morning ritual.  After brushing my teeth, I take time to look myself in the eyes and gaze into the wonder, the beauty and the love that exists there.  It’s the same wonder, beauty and love that exists in all of us.  It’s there for you too.  Take a look and see.  Get intimate with yourself and see how much your thoughts, your heart and your life changes as a result.

Inspired by Louise Hay and her beautiful mirror work, this exercise will expand your heart and the love within it.  Watch what happens in that moment, after a week, and after a month.  You will begin to BELIEVE that person in the mirror as if she were your own mother.  Listen to her or him as if he or she were your mother.  Cradle your heart and give it the love and messaging it deserves.  Mother that heart the way it needs to be mothered.  I bet you find that discovering that love within you fills you more than any mother’s love could ever fill you.  Healing our hearts is an inside job.  You will be amazed by the healing and love you find in this exercise. Recognize your uniqueness and your beauty.  We each have a role here.  We are all unique and we are all beautiful.  We are all little dots that make up a magnificent dot painting.  There are countless dots, of all different shapes, colors and sizes that, together, create a masterpiece.

I can’t wait to hear what happens in your mirror this week. Please share what happened and inspire others to take a look into their mirrors too.

Love and Blessings,

Erin