Grief is so long and so arduous and constantly surprises us at our most unsuspecting moments. I’ve often thought to myself, as I’m sure so many of us here have too, how can I speed this process up?
Well, your heart is going to be your grief’s pace setter and it is going to set the speed that is right for you. Your heart knows what is best for you. This is so important that it’s worth repeating again:
Your heart knows what is best for you.
It will set the pace. It will hurt when it is time. It will heal when it is time. It’s our job to listen and follow its directions.
This simple line doesn’t just apply to grief from losing a loved one; it reaches across all aspects of our life. As we discussed a few weeks ago, grief shows up in our life in many different ways. Our hearts, alone, know how to heal our grief from relationships, friendships, family or daily interactions. We must trust our own hearts and begin to listen, honor and respect them through the process. Grief healing begins with loving our own heart, and self, first.
Grief is the ultimate self-love boot camp.
Our difficult journey is only made longer when we don’t care for our own hearts. So much of our journey is about learning to care for our hearts in the same, or even better, way than the loved ones we are grieving. It’s one of the most significant lessons on our healing journey.
We will never find a more nourishing, healing, or intimate love than self-love. Once we begin to give it. So this week, we are going to pay extra attention to our hearts and see how much we can honor and activate them for our own healing.
We must give our hearts the time, love and energy they need to heal our hurt. Those sweet little hearts need lots and lots and lots of love to heal. We learn through self-love that we don’t need to look outward for that healing or for that love. When we fill ourselves with our own self-love, we become stronger, more resilient and more independent. We learn that love will melt away our pain and that we can do this for ourselves. We don’t have to depend on our loved one, or anyone else for that matter, to fill our hearts with love.
When will you know when it’s time to do something? Only your heart can tell you when it is time and it will, once you begin listening.
Here’s a great exercise to help you determine if something will be good for you:
Get quiet and close your eyes.
Take three deep breaths and think about your questions. Should I go to the movies? Should I see this friend? Will this help me? Etc.
Then pay attention where you might feel pressure or tingling in your body.
If it is at your heart or above, that is your heart’s way of telling you “yes” and if it is below your heart, it is your heart’s way of telling you “no.”
It’s a great way for us to tune into our own hearts, the one who knows us best, and to follow its directions.
A major part of self-love is doing things that will help build us back up and to help us feel stronger. When you aren’t sure if something is good for you to participate in, take a moment and ask your very own heart.
I can’t wait to hear how this works for you this week. I can’t wait to hear how you are depending on your own hearts and following its directions. What kind of self-love are you giving yourself this week? How did this exercise work for you? Share with us down below and inspire others. We look forward to hearing from you.
Love and Blessings,
Erin