Healing 2 minutes at a time

GRIEF: Mom did her job: Healing your grief 2 minutes at a time #61

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This weekend is Mother’s Day which means that for many of us, these days right now, the days leading up to Mother’s Day, are filled with a myriad of emotions. Whether we have lost our mother to physical death, illness, Alzheimer’s, an argument, a deep rooted hurt, a grudge or a simple misunderstanding, there is simply healing that needs to occur in all of our hearts.  Our mothers don’t have to physically die for us to grieve them. We grieve the ideal relationship. We grieve what we thought was supposed to be this idea of our mother. We grieve what never was, or what is no longer, because “life” happened to our relationship with our mother.

But what if life was supposed to happen to our relationship with our mom?

Are we stronger because we can no longer depend on her? Are we forced to be more thoughtful or patient because she is ill or just ill-tempered? Think about that for a moment. How is your mother continuing to do her job, to grow your heart into full completion, just by what she is doing to you today? The biggest growth doesn’t always come from love and hugs. It comes from tears, from being angry, from being hurt, from being disappointed, from being left to find our own way. But are you really being left or is she doing exactly what she needs to do, intentionally or not, to grow you into the person you were meant to be?

Growth makes you stand on your own two feet, which is all she wanted for you anyway.

Standing on our own two feet can feel isolating, at first. But when we begin to empower ourselves and truly embrace who we are, we realize THIS is where we belong. The only place we CAN stand is on our own two feet. It’s not our mom’s job to heal our hearts, it’s ours. Even if she’s the one who has upset us, it’s still our job to do our own heart work. But how can we do it?
 
Over the course of this month, I’m going to cover four empowering ways to heal our own hearts-to teach us how to mother ourselves, to care for ourselves and to heal ourselves. This week, we are going to talk about the amazing essential oil, Myrrh. In addition to being physically healing, essential oils have amazing emotional healing components to them. Myrrh helps us to heal the relationship we have with our mother. All of this amazing healing power is packed into this tiny little bottle, just waiting to help heal us.
 
“Myrrh helps the soul to feel the love and nurturing presence of “Mother”. Like the warmth of a mother’s love for her child, Myrrh assists individuals in feeling safe and secure.”-Emotions & Essential Oils by Enlighten.
Supporting your body to feel safe and secure will begin to help heal the stressed emotions over our mothers. Do what feels best for you. You can rub the Myrrh directly onto your heart, you can diffuse it in a diffuser or you can treat yourself to a wonderful salt bath. A perfect bath recipe could be:
1/2 c. Epsom salts
1/2 c. Dead Sea salts
10 drops of Myrrh (or whatever feels right for you!)
Pour all ingredients in warm bath water.
Enjoy a 15- to 20-minute soothing soak.

During your soak, think about your mom. Think about the events that have hurt you. Cry it out. If you just miss her because she is no longer physically here, cry that out too. When you are done with your bath, create a mental picture that your tears and your hurts are leaving down the drain. You are cleansed from that hurt and healing your heart with each release.

Your mom may have physically left this world. Your mom’s body may still physically be here, but her mind has left. Your mom may have just emotionally left you. No matter how she left, you are still here, standing on your own two feet. Take the time to heal your own heart and to make yourself strong because of her, or in spite of her. It’s your choice, but it’s your heart that gets to decide what you want to do.

Because whether your mom loved you to pieces or hurt you deeper than you could have ever imagined, she did her job. Her job was always to turn you into who you are now.
momdidherjob

How will you heal your mom’s relationship in your heart this weekend? Will you use your Myrrh? Will you reach out to her? Will you just make peace with your own heart after recognizing she is the one who helped you grow?  We can’t wait to support you and hear from you as you stand on your own two feet.

If you’re interested in learning more about Myrrh, you may click HERE.

Love and Blessings,
Erin

3 Comments

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  1. Dalia

    Beautiful message.

  2. Sandy

    This is wonderful. I am wondering if i am doing a good job with my 18 year old daughter now? She leaves for college in dc this Fall and i am scared to have her go. She is my only child and we will miss each other so much. It’s hard for me. Any advice? Thanks Sandy

    • Erin Garay
      Erin Garay

      Sweet Sandy,
      Every life change creates grief. Your daughter leaving for college creates all those same feelings. By recognizing that it is a grieving process, you be able to heal more effectively and efficiently. This can happen by allowing yourself to feel ALL of your feelings and to be kind and gentle to yourself. Know you are both exactly where you are supposed to be and this is all part of both of your journeys. Create a gratitude journal. When we are grateful, we turn off the part of our brain that causes worry. Good luck with this transition. Sending you big love and hugs!

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