“Hurt People Hurt.”
This is true whether or not the hurt person is 2, 12, 22, or 82. Perhaps we master our emotions as we age, or maybe we don’t. When we grieve, it doesn’t matter how much mastery work we have completed. Hurt people hurt. They hurt so much in their own hearts that hurt somehow gets inflicted onto those around them. It just happens. We don’t mean to do it on purpose, I promise. So I’m writing this article on behalf of all of us who are grieving as a future apology for the many ways we will hurt you while we’re grieving.
We are sorry for the following: (in no particular order)
We are sorry for…
-losing our temper in the grocery store, the mall, the dinner table
-saying something we didn’t mean and
-wondering where that mean thing came from
-being brutally honest when asked our opinion
-not being able to listen to your complaints of the day
-throwing things across the room
-Just yelling
-Just crying & yelling
-Just ignoring you
-Lacking compassion when you tell us your story
-Hurting so much ourselves that we end up hurting you
The thing is…we don’t actually mean to do ANY of these things. We don’t want to act this way or be this way but Hurt People Hurt. However, like all things on this site, this is also used as a healing tool. It’s not just a scapegoat apology note.
Use this very article as a mirror. Yes, when we are hurt, we end up hurting others.
So what will you do the next time someone hurts you?
Will you blow them off and get mad too? Will you get hurt?
OR
Will you look at the many ways they might be hurting in this moment and find a way to support them through their struggle?
Hurt people hurt. The next time someone hurts you, or isn’t very nice to you, take a look at their life and see if there might be something there that can help you find more compassion and understanding in your heart for them. Help them get out of that hurt ditch so you can connect, heal and break the hurt cycle.
Be sure to share our public future apology note with friends and loved ones so you are covered for future transgressions…and so your loved ones can learn too that perhaps the hurting is a sign you need some extra love that day.
Have you found that you end up hurting others when you’re really hurting? What’s been hurting you this week? Please share with us so we can help you heal too!
Sending you big love!
Love and Blessings,
Erin
