Grief: Healing Our Overwhelm

Overwhelm. We all know it. We all feel it, especially when we’re grieving. EVERYTHING can feel overwhelming when we’re grieving. Just when we’re keeping it all together, we spill our coffee and BOOM we’re a crumbling mess in the kitchen, crying over spilled coffee. (Which by the way is TOTALLY worth crying about!)

The fact of the matter is that overwhelm can be manageable when it happens for one day, but when we are grieving, we often find ourselves running an overwhelm marathon. Those 26.2 miles of overwhelm can wreak havoc on our lives.  Overwhelm lingers. It depresses us and exhausts us. So, what can we possibly do to remedy this state of overwhelm? Turns out…

Overwhelm is a state of mind. We just need to change our story.

But, how do we stop our story of overwhelm that runs incessantly in our mind? How do we stop our mind from feeling the heaviness, the burden and the struggle that is triggered by that spilled coffee, that overbearing co-worker or that grocery line that is just too long?

We ask for help with only the very next step.

That’s it. Don’t ask for help beyond the next step. It’s too much. Asking beyond it can actually create overwhelm. Focus solely on the very next step you need to make and ask for direction and help from something outside of yourself that can help define it for you. If you believe in God, call on him. If you believe there is no God, call upon your higher self. But elicit the support and assistance of something greater than you to guide you and support you with this critical next step.

If you don’t know what to do, that’s OK.  Clear your mind and heart, ask for the next step, get quiet and listen. It will come. Trust that it will come. Believe that it will come and it will be perfect. It doesn’t even need to be a radical next step.  The next step could be take a nap, or make a phone call, or eat a meal. The important component is that you listen and do whatever it inspires you to do. Trust that next step. Believe that it knows best and one step at a time, you will heal.  You will eliminate the overwhelm. Sometimes, we can’t see past or handle what is beyond the next step. As long as we take that next step though, we are healing. We are working through our struggle, and we are moving forward in our life.

Two steps can be too overwhelming sometimes. Just focus on your very next step.

Ask for guidance and the STRENGTH needed to tackle that next step, even if that next step is a shower. Keep in mind, a step, by definition is 2 things:

1) an act or movement of putting one leg in front of the other and
2) a flat surface, especially one in a series, on which to place one’s foot when moving from one level to another.

I think that is key here this week. We are trying to move ourselves from “one level to another” and that is not always easy, especially when we were never asked if we wanted to change levels in the first place. But we do get there one step at a time.

And it’s a series of steps that is going to get us to that next level, a series of steps to be taken one at a time. Each step is dependent on the prior step being completed and it’s OK if it takes a while to complete the step. We go at the pace we’re meant to go.

It’s OK to admit you need something greater than yourself to help you up the step. It’s a practice in surrendering. Surrendering to trust and surrendering to something else to fortify our spirit when we just don’t have it in us to move one single step.

Trust will eliminate the overwhelm.

When we trust in a greater plan, it begins to take the worry away.  It begins to soothe us. So, call on that help and just focus on that one simple step.

I used this practice today. I woke up feeling totally overwhelmed and unsure of where I’m headed or what I’m doing. I spent some quiet time and asked, “What is my very next step?” And I was told to come and write this very article. That’s how it works.  We just need to listen and follow. I realized this morning; I was allowing myself to get in the way of myself. I was letting myself get frantic, panicked and worried about where I needed to take my life. But guess what? I’m not helpful to anyone in that state; most importantly I’m not helpful to myself in that state of mind. So I went with the very next step. I don’t know what comes next but I’m surrendering to the idea that I don’t need to know. All I do need to know is what I’m doing next, and I need to trust in the fact that each step will be revealed once I’m ready for it.

Every morning, I wake up and say, “Thank you. How can I serve?” And then I listen. I listen to what my gut and my heart tell me to do. Sometimes, it’s make dinner for a friend, other times it’s take a nap. The important thing here is to tune in and to listen to that inner voice. Listen for just that next step and trust that the series of steps is laid out in a design far more intricate and amazing than we could ever plan for ourselves

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So take one step.  That’s all you need to do.  Step two will find you when you’re ready for it.  It’s OK to need assistance with that one step. Are you going to let yourself be OK with it? Are you going to be able to let go and surrender? It’s all about surrender. Surrender to a power greater than you that has your back. Trust that it will be there to hold your hand and help you push through that spilled coffee or grocery store line. Trust that there is a series of steps laid out for you that is far better than any map you could draw out for yourself. It’s there waiting for you and it all begins with one single step.

We can’t wait to hear what your one step is this week.  Please inspire your community with your next steps. We love to hear them.

Love and Blessings,

Erin