Healing 2 minutes at a time

Working our way up the grief scale

A few weeks ago, I taught a healing class and utilized Esther Hick’s emotional scale. This list is comprised of many different emotions that we feel, beginning with the deepest and darkest emotion we can feel, grief. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anyone here that grief is the heaviest and hardest emotion we can endure. Some days, it may be best to sit with this emotion and let it do its work as it allows you to release, detach and remember your loved one and all they brought to your life. But then there are the other days…

The days you have an urge or a moment where you want to feel stronger, better, less exhausted. What do we do on those days? Well, there is something very powerful we can do that will help us raise our energy and our emotional state to begin to feel better. That is where this miraculous emotional scale is so helpful. Here is the list, first, and then we’ll discuss how it works, second:

The Emotional Guidance Scale




Positive Expectation/Belief



















From the book “Ask and It is Given”, pg. 114


The heaviest and darkest emotion we can feel is grief and everything that comes along with that grief- fear, despair, powerlessness. This is why it is listed at the bottom. Every emotion above it feels a degree lighter than this heaviest emotion. The next time you feel like you’d like to start to move off of that heavy emotion of grief, or if you’re in that moment now, begin to talk through your situation. You can talk through this list of emotions and watch your emotional state change. As you talk through it out loud, you will actually feel your emotions, and your energy change. It is so powerful. You may not be able to go from the very bottom all the way to the very top emotion all at once and that’s OK. Even just moving up one emotion helps you to feel more positive and healed.  Yes, anger is a higher emotion than grief. So if you’ve moved onto feeling angry about your situation then recognize how much you’ve already healed. It’s a process and often a long and painful journey. Honor where you are at in this moment.

I’ve written out an example of how this list would work. I’ve made the sentences a bit general, but it will help you get the hang of it. IMPORTANT: Scroll to the bottom and read bottom up. It didn’t feel right to have the heaviest emotion at the top but it’s important that you read it from the bottom up and begin to tune into how you feel. Do you feel lighter or maybe a little happier as you read the list? Then apply this example to your own situation. You’re welcome to use these sentences and just add your loved one’s name or the situation you are grieving. Be sure to say it aloud. It is more powerful that way.

The Emotional Guidance Scale

Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love- “I appreciate and love all that I have learned about myself through my grief process.”

Passion – “I’m passionate about working on healing my grief so I can heal.”

Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness- “I’m excited to see the day where I’m not so struck with grief.”

Positive Expectation/Belief- “I believe there will be a day I will not be grieving so hard.”

Optimism- “I feel like it’s possible to have a few more moments without grief. Perhaps I will heal one day.”

Hopefulness- “I hope I can have a few moments that don’t include grief today.”

Contentment – “I had a moment of contentment today that didn’t include grief.”

Boredom- “I’m so over this and bored with grieving. It’s been too long.”

Pessimism- “I’m not sure I’ll ever be over this grief.”

Frustration/Irritation/Impatience “I’m so irritated that this grief seems to rule my life.”

Overwhelm- “This grief makes me feel so overwhelmed with my life.”

Disappointment -“I’m so disappointed that I feel so much grief.”

Doubt – “I doubt I will ever get over this grief.”

Worry- “I’m worried I’ll feel this way forever.”

Blame- “It’s _____ fault that I’m having to deal with this grief.”

Discouragement- “I’m not sure I’ll ever get over my grief.”

Anger- “I’m so angry at the thing that took my loved one away from me.”

Revenge- “I’d like to get revenge on the thing that took my loved one from me.”

Hatred/Rage- “I hate that I have to handle these feelings.”

Jealousy- “I’m jealous of the people who have never grieved like this.”

Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness- “I’m afraid I deserve to feel this level of grief because I ______.”

Fear/Grief/Depression/despair/Powerlessness – “I am grieving this loss.”


Isn’t this powerful? I can’t begin to tell you how helpful this tool has been for me in helping me to heal my emotions about many different situations, not just grief. We can’t wait to hear how this experience helped you heal your heart. How did you feel? Did you notice the shift in your heart? Did you feel lighter as you worked your way up the list? Please share your experiences with us and inspire someone else to give it a try too!

Sending you big love!

Love and Blessings,




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